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[The End]


[The End]
Hi, 2017. Thank you for all the memories you gave. They are wonderful yet painful at the same time. I had no day without tears, but it’s really okay for me. I am grateful that I was blessed with strength to through it all. I am grateful that I was not ended up insane. I am grateful that I stand still.
I through a lot of ups and down, eventhough I don’t really have any ups on my 2017. This year, I learnt so much about life, about my self and who I really am. This year such a blessing year, yet the worst, so far. I don’t want any worse years ahead. I can’t even express how I really hate this year, What I am struggling for. Actually I didn’t know and would never know about it.
I, the one who used to be a very optimistic girl, turned to be the most pessimistic person. I, the one who not used to tears, turned to be the girl who cried every single night. I, the one who used to think that everything is possible and there are so much way to get it, turned to be the one that believe everything is just a grey. I, the one who turned worse than before, still hoping that world will be the better place to live in. I am still hoping that my self won’t do any harm to me. I am learning to deal with my own self. I hope everything is getting better. Eventhough I already know it won’t. May Allah still be with me.
Thank you, 2017. You painted so much scars on me. I would never blame you. I shouldn’t when all faults and sins was mine. Thank you to my self, for being able to handle all of it and being able to not doing some harms to me. You deserve all awards. I have one thing to say, the most precious news of the year. 2017 is officially done. You did a very great job, self. I love you.
Oh, and welcome, 2018! Sorry I’m too busy -and happy- to let 2017 go and forget to welcoming you sincerely. I do hope you will be a little better than 2017. I do really hope, eventhough, you know, I lost my trust somewhere in 2016 and 2017, that prevent me hoping something bigger, so I’m just hoping something better. Give me a little, please. May Allah always be with you and me. Let’s make a different me, 2018!
I sincerely begging you to stop -and get rid off- the tears from falling down. I found my self getting soooo tired of that. I will really do leave if you dare to make me cry. I want more true happiness, I want more my usual self, my old little sunshine girl self. I want my family back. I want it all. Make it happen before it’s gone. Make it happen once or twice. Make it happen for me. I beg you. I do know I’ll no longer stay, so please make it happen. I beg you and pray to Allah. I’ll be forever thankful for that. Don’t let me go with regrets. Be good to me, 2018. I already warn you.


Written on 22.01.2018

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